Sunday, May 30, 2010

Lost Fish; Reward if found

Have you ever felt like you were just stuck? There's a decision you need to make and a million possibilities to consider and you just can get out of this maze of a fish bowl your in.

I felt like this little lost fish a few days ago. I was swimming as fast as I could around in circles trying in my little glass bowl to make sense of things and not able to go up to the surface for air.

I felt like I just had to figure it all out on my own. I know my decision will impact my future and it scared me. It scared me to think I could make the wrong decision. It scared me so much that I had trouble seeing my way to the surface where I wouldn't be looking through water, trying to read the signs.

I needed to get out of the water for a bit and just breathe some air. I decided I needed to get away from it so I could get some perspective so I went to the gym. After working out I felt a little better but that decision and resolution to it was still there and I was still stuck.

That's when a friend called and asked me for a big favor. It was one that called me to pack within the hour and run off to help her on an overnight road trip. I decided this escape was just what I needed and so I went for it.

I needed the escape to find a bit of perspective and get my head wrapped around all I was considering. I didn't come up with my answer right after my trip but I think it unstuck me to think of someone else instead of swimming in my bowl aimlessly getting more and more lost.

I think it's easy to get lost and feel like you don't have a direction. Today God really showed me as I went to church that I have to reach out and ask for directions. I can't do this alone. I have to have some arrow pointers helping to guide me.

A friend was an arrow pointer to me today when she looked at my tear filled fish bowl I was swimming in and showed me how I could break down the issue and take a breath of fresh air. She made it simple and told me to stop swimming and float.

God made us so we can float in the water if I just let go. Sometimes we have to relax let God have our anxiety and only then can we see clearly. It can happen in a moment, a twinkling of an eye, a soft blink if we let it. It is really a choice.

So I decided to stop swimming and come up the surface. Even though I don't have a completely clear direction quite yet, I know I can see it up here floating.

It's amazing to me how God always takes care of me. I can feel so very lost but He always has a reward out for me. He wants the best for me and loves me even when I'm swimming so fast I take my eyes off of Him and on me.

Jesus loves me and loves you too. So let go and float.

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: All I need - Bethany Dillon
Verse: Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Heart of Worship

When I am at a church service I can sometimes get preoccupied walking in with all those little everyday things running through my head. I'm thinking about the laundry I need to do, the lunch I am going to after service or so many other things.

I can get distracted and feel a bit like its not a worshipful time if I am not careful to stop, close my eyes and look up. I had a friend challenge me to blog about my worship experience when I shared it with her. So in taking on that challenge... here it is.

What I do when I'm in that intimate room we all call our sanctuary (which could really be anyplace) is simple yet helps me focus and close out that world that wants to creep into my worship time.

I close my eyes and imagine I am standing in the middle of this huge open outdoor theatre in the middle of the night. It's pitch dark and there's a million stars above me. I'm completely alone in this huge place and yet suddenly I can hear the sounds of worship music starting all around me.

My worries and my world start fading away and I look up. It's then that I have the courage to raise my hands and surrender knowing it's just me and my God above in this place. We are alone together and there is nothing else to separate us.

I imagine a beam light with love from me coming from my hands surrendered. I feel free and just know that Jesus is up there looking down at me smiling, letting me know He loves me.

Fruit: JOY
Song in my head: Heart of Worship
Verse: Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”