Dragons Vs Reality

Breathing in that beautiful warm salty air this weekend I thought "it's just a little bit of heaven out by the ocean side". I was at Evergreen District womens conference this weekend at Ocean Shores. The 8 of us gals stayed with in a duplex condo we lovingly nicknamed the "shack". It was quite ugly on the outside but so warm and friendly on the inside it made up for it's outward appearence. (my fav kind of thing) It was awesome to room with my "Kelly's" small group gals. It was the best combination of awesome weather, the ocean, great friends, spiritual breakthoughs, awesome word, laughter. tears and sweet worship.

We had some awesome lessons from our speaker. My favorites were; The relationships cycle of interuption and one liners.

First the "event" happens. This tends to be a wee bit of a disagreement between you and your mate or friend. Without really thinking about it we immediately begin to ask the question "are you really a safe haven" in my life. The alarm sounds "danger danger" and our "dragons" make an appearence. Our "amydala" goes haywire making our emotions submit to our reactions where we conclude we are justified in our reactions. The impact on us is that we become reacters to other peoples dragon's and thus submitting to our own.

Our dragons are those insecurites and things that impact how we react to situations because of the impact of our early relationships. Her life example: feeling like she needed constant reassurance of love from her husband due to feeling anxious and abandoned at many times in her life. (I could so relate) Her husband's dragon just fed into her as his was telling him to fight and then flee. The key to this concept is to know your dragons so you can recognize them in your life when they come up. Then you can comfort them taking away their power, taking you back to your safe haven place. (like the coffehouse :)

My favorite thoughts and one liners from this weekend: Life is messy.. clean it up. I don't want a dragon slayer for a husband but dragon comforter. We tend to marry our dragons. Ask the question.. where have I felt this way before? Get up there is still life to live! Corrective emotional experiences. Rest, Cling, Run to the shelter of the most High. Recognize when it's dragon vs reality. Choose to be a safehaven of hope to people in your life. We are each others safe haven. Notice people and stand with them. Free to love. A whole lot of what we have conflict with others about is our personality style.

Another awesome thing that happened this weekend was when a friend of mine who wasn't staying with us came up to me to tell me how God answered a prayer I had prayed for her. A few months ago this friend of mine started making some choices in a relationship she was having. I could see the big picture of her life and how her relationship that didn't have the basis of a solid friendship and God as center of it could hurt her. I knew she wasn't really ready so soon after her divorce.

Her heart was too fragile and desperate for a touch from a man who appeared to be opposite from the hurt of her ex. I knew she really wasn't in place to hear that her relationship had compromised her. I let her know a bit of how I felt but mostly I prayed. I knew how she felt because I was in her shoes too a year ago. She needed the hope of it and was so excited after being so down for so long. She wanted a hope and she wanted to believe in love again. She wasn't willing to go alone. It was too scary to face the world without "someone" to journey with. Her looking didn't start out with the wrong heart or motives. She started searching for a man who had her values and believed.

Little by little though in her search she made small compromises. She was not really searching out of the overflow of her love for God first but out of her broken place. He came like a snake with the appearence of fulfilling every womans most feminine needs for safety and love. He had money and showered her with gifts and he knew just what every woman wants to hear. "Your a special, unique, and beautiful woman like no other".

She told me that "even though I loved his words, I knew inside that they were empty." She knew in her heart that they were empty because he didn't really know the love of God first. She knew because of the compromises in his life that he didn't have the fruit of being the man he claimed to be.

That is when God broke through to her to reveal the truth about him. God showed her in a clear way exactly who he really was through revealing a lie. She had an awesome revelation that hurt her deeply but seeing his true colors showed her what she really wanted and deserved was a Godly Man. She said now she is willing to wait for him because she has the security that God gave her a vision this weekend for a man who loves Him.

It's tough to hear someone tell you to wait for it when you can't see past your situation into your own life. Sometimes there nothing you can tell someone before they make a choice you know will hurt them and they make it anyway. Sometimes we just have to learn our lessons the hard way when we don't listen. We really have to pray and listen with our eyes wide open to hear what God has to say.

"Sometimes people have to crash and burn to get an eternal perspective again."

This is why God gives us people and good friends in our lives who can have a unique perspective to share those things we don't want to see. When your on the outside looking in you can see the picture of the world someone creates for themselves they can't see. It's really hard to tell a friend what you see happening in their life. Truely though you wouldn't be doing your part in the friendship if you didn't. This is why we need friends and accountablity in our lives. They are the shout out for reality in our lives and they love us despite our dragons.

Fruit: Love
Song in my head: All I need - Bethany Dillon
Verse: 2 Corinthians 10 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ